Some More
Investing Fun,
Jokes and Humor

A doctor, an architect and a stockbroker are discussing which has the cleverest dog.

The doctor calls to his dog, Bones. "'Do it, boy" says the doctor. The dog runs off, digs up bones and builds a skeleton.

"Not bad" says the architect who then calls to his dog, "Set Square." The dog rushes about, collects branches and builds a kennel.

The stockbroker says "That's really awfully good. Come on, Bullshit!" His dog screws the other two, takes a three-hour lunch break and pisses off home early.

How many investment bankers can you fit in the back of a pickup truck?

Only 2 - you have to leave room for the lawn mowers!

I have a friend down at Wall Street.

He used to have a corner on the market. Now he has a market on the corner.

"Get my broker, Miss Jones."

"Yes sir. Stock, or Pawn?"

An airplane was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing.

Few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready.

"All set back here, Captain," came the reply, "except one stockbroker who is still going around passing out his business cards."

Over the Counter:

Where you'll be getting your food from when you go out to dinner, after losing your money in the stock market.

Volume:

What you turn up on the radio when the financial report comes on.

Why is a BMW a stockbroker's favorite car?

Because he can't spell Porsche.

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