A man walking in the countryside meets a shepherd and a big flock of sheep.
The man tells the shepherd: "I will bet you 1000 against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this flock."
The shepherd thinks it over; it's a big flock so he takes the bet. "855," says the man.
The shepherd is amazed, because this is the exact number. Says "OK, I'm a man of my word, take a sheep."
Man picks one up and starts walking away. "Wait," shouts the shepherd, "Let me have a chance to get even. Double or nothing that I can guess your exact occupation!" Man says "OK."
"You are an economist working for the government," says the shepherd. "Amazing!" responds the man, "You are exactly right! But tell me, how did you conclude to that?" "Well," says the shepherd, "put down my dog and I will tell you!"
There are primarily 3 different types of investors:
1) Those who don't know anything.
2) Those who know a little and
3) Those who don't realize they don't know anything!
A young stockbroker decided to get his first tailor made suit.
So he went to the finest tailor in town and got measured for a suit. A week later he went in for his first fitting.
He put on the suit and he looked stunning, he felt that in this suit he can do business. As he was preening himself in front of the mirror he reached down to put his hands in the pockets and to his surprise he noticed that there were no pockets.
He mentioned this to the tailor who asked him, "Didn't you tell me you were a stockbroket?" The young man answered, "Yes, I did."
To this the tailor said, "Who ever heard of a stockbroker with his hands in his own pockets?"
It is not how much you make that counts but how much money you keep.
The market is weird!
Every time one guy sells, another one buys, and they both think they're smart.
Even if 50 million people think something is stupid, it's still stupid.
A stockbroker and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean.
The stockbroker said, "I'm here because my house burned down, and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything."
"That's quite a coincidence," said the engineer. "I'm here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything."
The stockbroker looked somewhat confused. "How do you start a flood?" he asked.
In the begining, an investor starts with money and a stockbroker with experience.
In the end, the investor gets the experience and the stockbroker the money.